Spiritual Brush Strokes

Amazing Grace Painting

2011-05-13T21:54:00.000-04:00

Here is my latest work. I am calling it "Amazing Grace".
I felt so many feelings while painting this. My spirit was filled with pure Joy, knowing how very blessed I am. This painting represents spring... Music playing and the body swaying in time to a special song.
I hope you enjoy this latest work. All comments are always welcome. :)

Western Round up Paintings

2011-03-17T09:03:00.007-04:00

These paintings together measure 8 feet by 3 feet. I painted them to go into my great room high up on the walls. It is hard getting the exact color right in the pictures. The bottom picture is more true to the real life colors of the paintings.

They are much more vivid and stunning if truth be told when looking at them real life. When looking at them I feel such peace, yet also a sense of adventure. I feel they pull you in while looking at them. I hope you enjoy!

*Remember to click on the picture to get a larger and better look.

"Lady In thought" Painting

2011-02-03T21:21:00.002-05:00

Hi all,

I just finished another painting today. It is the first time I have painted a face on one of my lady works. This painting took me some time to do, for not only that reason but also because the topic is very close to my heart. I have been meaning to do this painting for some time, but never felt i had the ability or talent developed yet to do so.
I hope you enjoy.
All comments are always welcome. :)

"Lady In Thought" Painting
Quitely she stands under the light.
Waiting for that special moment.
Waiting in hope.
Dreaming of things only she can see.

*Painting done in memory of a special lady who was not only my family, but was a cousin i cared deeply for. She is also someone close to my heart. This is my interpretation of her, and how i see her in my mermories.*
Kim you are missed.

Tracy

"Midnight Magic" Painting

2011-01-07T12:32:00.001-05:00

Newly finished painting I am calling "Midnight Magic"

Imagine standing outside at Midnight looking up at the trees and it starts to snow. The magic of snow falling all around you and the feeling of it on your face.. The purity of the snow almost feels like it is cleansing the soul. Simply magical..... I hope you enjoy this latest creation of mine. It is almost abstract yet has the feeling of reality. * Remember to click on the picture to see it more fully. All Comments are welcome.

Soulful Dancer Painting

2010-12-14T13:24:00.001-05:00

Finished Painting. I am calling the painting "Soulful Dancer"

I see her at a blues club listening to Rita Chiarelli singing the song Slow dance. She sways to the music, deep in thought. This is another soul painting. I see myself in her. She is moody, romantic, and in the mood to dance.
I hope you enjoy. All comments are always welcome ...and truly apprciated.

"Emotions Unleashed" Painting

2010-12-08T18:37:00.002-05:00

"Emotions Unleashed" Painting
Here is a picture of my latest work finished. This painting is another soul painting. My goal was to put the power of some emotions one feels onto canvas. Sometimes the soul explodes with passion, and some very powerful emotions.
I hope you enjoy my latest work.
*All comments are welcome.

"Rainy Day Dream" Painting

2010-11-06T17:51:00.002-04:00

Rainy Day Dream Painting
I painted this for my younger brother. It reminds me of him. Hopefully he will also like the painting! For me this painting was special. My little brother and I were very close growing up. It took me a long time to come up with an idea for his painting. He will always be someone special in my life.

"First Snow" Painting

2010-10-27T19:02:00.002-04:00

I painted "First Snow" for my brother and his wife. They collect Cardinals. A picture of this painting will also be going on our Christmas Cards this year. :)

When i got done with this painting I stood back and felt such joy, and a sense of peace while looking at it. It truly reminds me of Christmas time.

I hope you enjoy. :)

"Rocky Mountain Run" New and Improved

2010-10-22T12:22:00.002-04:00

"Rocky Mountain Run" (New and improved.) I was not happy with how the trees looked in this painting. I spent so much time on the horses, that somehow the trees missed out. Today i spent my morning detailing the trees more. I hope you enjoy! The painting is now complete. :P Remember to click on the image to get a better view.

"Rocky Mountain Run"

2010-10-20T13:02:00.002-04:00

"Rocky Mountain Run" Painting
I have been working days on this painting. It is an expression of freedom. The pure joy of running in this beautiful world God has created for all of us. I hope you all enjoy. Please Remember to click on the picture to get a larger view of the work. I always love hearing feed back o...n my works. Please feel free to comment and tell me what you think. :P

Summer Days Painting

2010-09-13T20:11:00.002-04:00

Summer days

REMEMBER TO CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO GET A LARGER IMAGE

One continuous painting depicting the warmth of the end of summer.
This is three paintings in one. Each painting is 12x12. I painted birch trees because i think they are truly beautiful. This place reminds me of upstate New York, and the happy moments i spent there. I enjoyed working on Summer days, it reminds me how wonderful God is, and the beauty he has created in everything around us. I love the woods, Love birch trees, and feel that this piece is one of my best works to date.

I hope you all enjoy. Please feel free to comment. I love to hear what one thinks of my works.

"The Thunder Rolls" Painting

2010-09-06T18:59:00.003-04:00

My latest painting is now done.
"The Thunder Rolls"
I finally finished this painting, that hopefully
will provoke not only emotion, but enjoyment. This painting is
defiantly a soul work. One that speaks fromt he heart. It is a dream
painting that tells its own story. I hope you all enjoy my latest
work. I love comments. Please feel free to share your thoughts. :)

Remember to click on the photo to enlarge it.
Blessings.

"Cowboy Dreams" Painting

2010-08-04T07:41:00.001-04:00

Spoke with my art teacher who looked at this painting and said it was good, but gave me a few pointers to improve it. I took his advice and am very glad i did! The painting now has more depth, and the cowboy looks more like a man instead of a boy. I made the hat smaller, put more detail and depth into the shirt he is wearing, added a chin, and refined the hair a little. I also added a little more detail to the grout in the shadow on the bricks.

Cowboy Dreams. While working on this painting my passion for the west came forth. I love everything about the west, from the gorgeous sunsets, to the Mountains, to the hard working men and women who work the land. This painting challenged me to put down on canvas what my minds eye saw. I struggled with the hands, and t...he face and neck even more.... The cowboy ended up with a large hat covering the face! :) All comments are welcome..... Does the cowboy feel like it came from a dream? I hope everyone enjoys this painting as much as i enjoyed working on it.
The painting is a gallery wrapped painting. 24 inches x 34 inches tall.
All comments are welcome and valued. :P

Sisters of the heart

2010-06-28T19:56:00.002-04:00

I know I showed the paintings down below.. I thought I should show them side by side.

They will frame my great room doorway leading into my Kitchen. First painting was called Lady dreamer, the second painting is called Soul twin. It is same painting yet both are distinctly different. I painted them intentionally to be similar, yet feelings felt when looking at them are not the same. :) i hope you like them.

Soul Sisters

2010-06-28T16:15:00.001-04:00

I could not let lady dreamer not have a twin to her painting. Being a twin myself, it just did not feel right. So this painting I am calling Soul Sister. This painting represents the twin to the first. I hope you enjoy!

Latest Painting "Lady Dreamer 2"

2010-06-15T18:35:00.002-04:00

Lady dreamer 2

I started out painting this expecting the lady to be dancing... Sometimes though a painting takes on a life all its own. The soul behind the paint brush takes over and expresses itself onto the canvas.

With all that i am dealing with lately I feel that this painting shows myself in deep thought and prayer. It is an expression of my soul.

Midnight Reflections

2010-04-29T19:35:00.001-04:00

Just got done painting... This painting has special meaning for me.. My niece Christy was on my mind while i painted. I painted to the song Midnight special by Credence Clear water Rival...
I hope you enjoy it! The Painting is called Midnight Reflections...

Sunset Embraced

2010-04-17T16:35:00.001-04:00

I spent the day painting..... Expressing my emotions.. Unleashing the passion for color.. beauty and wonder deep from within my soul. Please feel free to comment on my latest work, i am calling "Sunset Embraced"

Finished my latest work called "Into the Mist"

2010-02-16T15:01:00.003-05:00

I finished my painting called "Into the Mist" today. It was a real joy to work on this piece. I have never painted the topic of Mist before. I found i loved every moment of it. Although I do admit I struggled at times trying to get the right feeling onto canvas.

I hope you all enjoy this work. I value all comments regarding all my works.

I am thinking of putting this painting up for Auction here in the world of internet. What do you all think?

Blessings

In To the Mist Painting

2010-02-12T15:53:00.003-05:00

This is the Painting i am working on today. I am wondering what it needs... Any ideas?? All comments are welcome.

Please share what this painting says to you.. What feelings does it provoke?

Here are my thoughts:
Walking through mist... Feeling it surround ones soul.. Mystery is everywhere... Feeling it around my ankles as it moves into the area.. wondering what is next.

Progress of Twin Angels Painting.

2010-01-15T11:10:00.002-05:00

Just adding updates as i go. This painting is one i am truly struggling with. Smiles. Nose and mouths are hard, and trying to get shading right is driving me insane. lol

Continuing on the face.. Still not getting it right but it is looking better i think. Spent 3 hours working on the face this morning! I can see it coming along... eyes are better and positioned more how they should be, nose is coming along, but needs lots of work, and face shape is more true to form. Cheeks are all wrong, and mouth needs major work. lol but.... it is taking shape!

First stage of my latest work

2010-01-14T16:57:00.004-05:00

Ok here is what i am working on now. This is my very first portrait. I decided to paint my twin and i when we were two years old dressed as angels.

I know that it is not the best.... But it is my first time. Smiles. I have a lot of work yet to do, and hopefully by the time i am done, it will turn out nice. I started out painting me first. I tried to take a close up of my work. The painting itself has a lot of space around the twins, which i am hoping to make clouds, along with framing the twins in an oval shape. Make sense?

Please share thoughts, if any. Smiles

Joyful Moments Painting

2010-01-07T15:02:00.004-05:00

My latest painting is complete.

I am calling it Joyful Moments. Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts. I will try and post a picture with out the glare later when my husband is available to take it. I can paint it seems but try and take a picture with out glare..... laughs nope can not do it seems.

*Remember to click on the picture to see a larger size. :)

Blessings!

Changes on the horizon

2010-01-05T08:40:00.002-05:00

In the next few weeks, i will be changing up my blog once again. I am thinking of making a blog for my artwork only. I find myself unable to think or write what is on my mind lately.

Hugs to all my blogger friends.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T05:14:00.002-05:00

Away in a manger is one of my favorite songs during this time of the year. Add the voice of the Celtic woman and it makes it even more special.

I hope you and your family all have a very blessed Christmas!

"Together a love shared Painting"

2009-12-17T13:56:00.002-05:00

I just finished my latest work i am calling "Together"

It is a painting i have painted with my husband in mind. It is the love we share, a bond that will not be broken with God's watchful eye guiding us.

I wanted to create the intimacy between husband and wife. A love's strength, and a love shared.

I painted this from deep in my heart where the love for my husband is.... I hope you all enjoy. This is a Christmas gift for my husband. So family and friends who know him, shhhhhh...... At least until Christmas morning! :) Please share your thoughts and comments on my latest work. I always enjoy input regarding all my paintings.

*Sorry for the long absence. I shall update you all soon with how i have been.

Blessings!

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-20T22:17:00.002-05:00

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving.

I have many blessings in my life to be thankful for. I think pain, tiredness, and other things weigh me down and i forget to be thankful.

"Life is not measured by
the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments
that take our breath away."

I hope everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving.

For those who are interested in what i am now painting

2009-10-07T14:41:00.001-04:00

Click on the picture to get a better look.
(The painting looks brighter in person. I am having trouble taking a good picture with out light shining on the painting in spots, and dulling the colors.)

Here is my latest work. I still have to add color for the pelican and to the post it is sitting on. I will probably also add a couple of small pelicans flying in the background. I am also hoping to add more depth to the clouds in the sky. This painting is in oils, and I loveeeeee using oil paints! Only problem is, I have to be so patient while layers of paint dry before i can move on to the next stage.

I am so impatient. When i was painting using acrylic paints they spoiled me with how fast your work dries. I often could do an entire painting in one day if i chose to. LOL However I love the texture of oils, and I love how vibrant the painting looks when it is done.

I will be sure to share the finished painting with you all here in blog land. I am thinking of calling this painting "Joyful Moments" The colors feel so light and airy and well happy to me!

I probably will start a new painting while this one is drying. I have several in mind. I need to start a snowy one again so i can maybe put the pic on my Christmas cards. I also want to paint something with mist as a focal point. Another painting would be simply of water and reflections. I need to learn how to paint calm waters. :)

Fibro has been a problem for me lately, today I have no voice due to fibro, and I hurt all over. I have wanted to spend less time online lately and more time working on my art or just disappearing in a good book. I am also getting the urge to start cooking or baking again. Nothing like the smell of home cooked bread, or something with vanilla in it to make ones home smell good. It also is a comfort I think. Very homey to smell fresh baked goods.

I am sorry I have not kept up on all your blogs.
I think I am feeling guilty not reading everyone's blog during my fibro months. I once again have thought about shutting my blog down. Therefor taking away my guilt.

I think though posting my art will be a good thing. I am just not sure.

Anyway part of fibro problems is depression, so maybe I am depressed because of the constant pain. I hate to shut down my blog because I am depressed, then regret it later on when I am feeling better.

To those who are my blogger friends, know that I care, and I am so sorry that i have not visited your blogs in some time. I will try and make my rounds to your blogs as soon as i am feeling better.

Blessings my friends.

Sunday funnies

2009-09-27T15:05:00.002-04:00

This is a true story of a Garage Owner in the Southwest. (New Mexico)

He was sick and tired of thugs breaking into his garage shop to steal tools etc. So he came up with this idea. He put the word out that he had a new Mexican Lion that would attack anyone that would break in or climb his fence. Would be thieves saw the "Lion" from a distance and fled the scene.

I'll give you 5 minutes to stop laughing

My latest painting I am calling "The Fire Within"

2009-09-23T14:00:00.002-04:00

Here is my latest work I am calling "The Fire Within" . I painted this using oils. I painted with out reserve in hopes that this painting would glow with an energy unleashed. I hope you all enjoy.

Be sure to click on the painting to see it in a larger size.

I always love feedback. It helps me grow and improve on each piece of art i am working on.

When i view art I ask myself a few key questions.

1. What is my first reaction when looking at the piece.
2. What feelings when looking at the painting is invoked in me.
3. Does the painting pull you into the work.
4. What is my overall impression.

Blessings!

"The Storm" My finished painting

2009-09-14T12:48:00.000-04:00

Here is the finished painting of the "The Storm".

I hope you all enjoy.

There really are no words for me to express about this painting because I feel the painting says it all. :)

Blessings.

9/12 Tea party in Washington D.C

2009-09-13T18:59:00.007-04:00

My husband and I were privileged to participate in the tea party on Sept.12th in Washington D.C.

It was such a wonderful experience. The crowd was huge. (the numbers are still unclear, but i personally think it was almost one Million people!)

Everyone at this march was so peaceful and were so calm. Not once did we see any violence. Instead we saw mainstream America, all of whom were concerned about what is happening in Congress and wanting the President and the congress members to hear what all of what we have to say.

The media represents these people, (me included) as Domestic Terrorists. Since when is it terrorism for the people of America to have a voice and have a separate opinion from congress?

These people (mainstream America) are not crazy, they are not mobs, and are not out to hurt anyone. As you can see in the pictures, these people are every day people that you pass in the street each and every day. These people were polite, helpful, and all very friendly. Not one person i met in this march wanted trouble. They just wanted to make a statement. A strong statement. In fact people from all over the states came to participate in this march. There were Americans from Alaska, Hawaii, California, middle America, all the way to people here in the East Coast. People drove for hours, and days to make this statement. That is how concerned we all are. People from both parties were at this tea party. This was not about being a democrat or a republican. This was not about race, or about hatred. This was about being an American. This was about real people who are very concerned about what is going on in our government.

They are all just concerned Americans (myself included) who want congress to take a serious look at all the bills they are passing with out regard to what we all think.

WE want Congress to read the health bill fully. Not just assume what is in it is alright. We want the congress to think instead of just hurry bills through as fast as they can. We want them to slow down and really understand what is in that health bill reform!

Did you know that no one in the congress will be using the health care reform themselves? Did you know that the reform is not good enough for their families? I think if any one in the congress signs yes for this reform, they should be on the plan themselves.

How is it that what is good enough for mainstream America is not good enough for Congress or their families? Why is it that these people in Congress feel they know best????? That main stream America are dumb as sheep,that they know better then us? Why does this congress and the President consider anyone who disagrees with them and their ideas are domestic terrorists? I for one take great offense as being called a domestic terrorist! I am a concerned mother of two teen sons and am a loving wife who wants what is best for my family! I think i am smart enough to think for myself.

I know I am smart enough to see that if someone who is supposed to be representing me and my family, not wanting to use this health care plan for themselves or think that this health care plan is not good enough for their family, that it is not good enough for me or my family either!

This March on Washington was about morals, It was about smart people who wants what is best for themselves and their families, and it is about concerned Americans knowing when they are being blindsided by Washington!

The evolving progress of "The Storm" painting..

2009-09-11T16:53:00.002-04:00

The storm... A work in progress. I still have to paint in the woman. As you can see I have already outlined her. This painting went from dark and moody, to light and breathtaking in my opinion. It shares a story. One of the soul.

Today I have spent 8 hours working on this painting. I have been pushing myself to put a lot of feelings into it. When the lady is painted, I am hoping one feels like they can feel the waves crashing down in the sea.. I hope one can feel the wind on ones skin,and feel the storm that is approaching. One should feel the strength inside this ladies soul. She may seem alone.... but she is not.

Please feel free to comment as this work progresses!

I hope everyone has a blessed weekend.

To Congress, The 5 Pledges

2009-09-09T18:10:00.004-04:00

To Congress, The 5 Pledges

1. I believe in a balanced budget and therefore will vote for a freeze in government spending until that goal is realized.

2. I believe government should not increase the financial burden on its citizenry during a difficult economic times, therefore I will oppose all tax increases until our economy has rebounded.

3. I believe more than four decades of US dependence on foreign oil is a travesty, therefore I will support an energy plan that calls for immediately increasing usage of all domestic resources including nuclear energy, natural gas and coal as necessary.

4. I believe in the sovereignty and security of our country and therefore will support measures to close our borders except for designated immigration points so we will know who is entering and why. I will vehemently oppose any measure giving another country, the United Nations, or any other entity power over US citizens.

5. I believe the United States of America is the greatest country on earth and therefore will not apologize for policies or actions which have served to free more and feed more people around the world than any other nation on the planet.

A Warning to the politician's. If you do not believe, support or reflect these beliefs in your actions then you are not supporting me. More importantly, you are not supporting, protecting or defending the Constitution.

Painting called "The Storm"

2009-09-01T11:55:00.001-04:00

Another day where my fibromyalgia has hit me hard. Yesterday I felt so much better while painting I felt maybe it would help me again today. Since I could not continue on yesterdays painting I pulled out a new canvas. I sat and prayed, asking God to help me come up with a painting that expressed this pain I am feeling deep inside.

I set about painting. I blared my music, turned off all phones and set about working on transferring what was inside me right that moment onto canvas. I really had no real plan in mind other then showcasing feelings, pain, and yes hope onto my canvas.

Three hours later, I set my brushes aside and realized that wow I feel better! I took a look at what my canvas held, and frankly it took my breath away. Maybe because it expressed so well what I was feeling.

This painting I am calling "The Storm"

I hope you all enjoy.

Painting called Passion

2009-08-31T11:56:00.004-04:00

I have started painting with oils again. I am loving the freedom I have when painting with them. I have given myself permission to just allow my soul to flow as the oils hit the canvas. No holding back theory.

In this painting it is my intention to show the colors of my soul. I want it to grab the viewer and pull them right into the trees. The first stage of my painting was to simply apply color and lines.

In this second stage of my painting I added mystery with the white in the bottom of my work. I then added textured leaves in a deep red. I want one to feel as if they can reach right in and touch the leaves. As you can see when I added the leaves and white the painting took on another life all of its own, it changed. It became softer, and more alive i think. It is less harsh. More like who I am in real life.

The third part of my painting I will be adding depth. I plan on adding up close birch trees. It will draw the eye into the center of the trees and then into the colors of my work. I am hoping that it will add impact, and flavor so to speak to my work that I have not had in the past.

The painting itself is supposed to be abstract, yet feel real at the same time. I want my work to make a person feel, feel the soul of my spirit. The only way I know how to do that is with color and textures.

I will show you the third stage soon. Since I am working in oils; I have to wait for this stage in my work to dry first before I add anything else. :) I hope you all enjoy.

All comments are welcome.

Blessings.

Hidden fear

2009-08-27T08:31:00.006-04:00

What I am sharing with you today is a message that i feel strongly about regarding fear in ones life.

Parts of this post are from an email i received today from a site called: Daily Inspirations Christianity.com@crosswalkmail.com I am compelled to share it with you because it strikes very close to my own issues I struggle with daily.

It always takes me by surprise how God will use others or tools you are using to reach you. In my experience If you are listening God will speak with you.

My friends and I have been talking about fear. Fear has been a topic brought up in the last few weeks of my life over and over. (Talk about God trying to get my attention, and me not really hearing! He has shown me over and over again, until finally today I heard!)

Last week my friend and I talked about how Satan will use fear as a tool to deceive you, and confuse you. He uses fear to bind the soul from growing, or fully healing.

I thought to myself that I myself am not allowing that to happen. I try to look fear in the face and confront it. I reject it when I feel fearful.

The reality is fear hides in strange places in ones life. One may not even know they are in fear of something.

While on vacation, my husband has shown me that fear controls my life at times. He sees it rather clearly. He has had no problem pointing those times out to me.

Case in point the family wanted to go kayaking. The day was a blah day, raining, and dreary, and I was thinking no way do I want to go kayaking in the rain, what if a lightening storm came up and we were on the water! He checked the weather and told me no it is only rain forecasted for the day. He pointed out fear is controlling me, and I should go enjoy the day with my family. It turns out the sun came out, and the rain left. If I had not gone I would have missed a wonderful day with all my guys!)

At the moment he was telling me i was allowing fear to take hold of me, I became upset. It upset me because I work so hard at not being afraid of things. Laughing at myself! I was shocked, because I did not feel that the problems I have in my own life is because I am in fear. Obviously others see things where I can not.

Last night and early this morning I sat down and prayed. I prayed for God to show me what is spiritually holding me back. I soon received my answer the moment that I opened today's devotional. Talk about God hearing you! How else was he going to talk with me when I am at home alone but through the computer that I use often? lol.

I wanted to share this email with you all. This devotional site has been a blessing for me.

The message is a powerful one, and hit the fear in my life right on the nose!

Blessings.

THE DEATH OF FEAR

Proverbs 28:1
The wicked flee when no one is pursuing, but the righteous are bold as a lion.

How do you respond to fear situations in your life? The following steps will help you identify and hopefully eliminate any irrational fears.

First, analyze your fear. Most people aren't aware of what is controlling their lives. If you are struggling with anxiety attacks, determine when they first occurred. What experience preceded the first attack? People struggling with agoraphobia can usually identify one precipitating event. It is often associated with some tragedy or failure in their lives, such as a marital affair or an abortion. Satan takes advantage of victimized people if they don't seek a scriptural solution to their crisis (Psalm 38:18).

Second, determine where God's place in your life has been usurped. In what way does any fear prevent you from responsible behavior or compel you toward irresponsible behavior? You may need to confess any situations where you've allowed your actions to be controlled by fear (Psalm 28:1). We will always live less than a responsible life if we fear anything other than God.

Third, work out a plan of responsible behavior. A college student shared with me that she was living in terror of her father. They hadn't spoken to each other in six months. Obviously there was irresponsible behavior on both their parts. I suggested that she take the initiative that evening and say, "Hi, Dad!" We reasoned that there were three possible responses he could give. First, he could get mad. Second, he could respond with a greeting. Third, he could remain silent. It was the possibility of the third response that created the most fear.

We then discussed the fourth point: Determine in advance what your response will be to any fear-object. The young woman and I talked about what her response would be in each of those three cases we had mentioned. I then asked her if she would be willing to carry out our plan. She agreed to do it. I got a call that evening from a happy daughter who exclaimed, "He said 'Hi' back!"

Do the thing you fear the most, and the death of fear is certain.

Prayer for my day:

Lord, give me the courage to meet my fears head-on and the persistence to overcome them in Your strength.

Fibromyalgia is hitting me hard

2009-08-25T10:29:00.003-04:00

I have spoken about Fibromyalgia before, but found this great video and it really does say it all. We are now entering the season (hurricane season) where my fibro gets really bad. All through the year fibro is bad for me, but this time of year seems to knock me off my feet. It always surprises me because I tend to feel better during the summer months. I have better days, and right when i think wow i feel great, fall arrives and with it the storms start to flow into our area... I then feel so discouraged because i realize that the relief was for a short amount of time, and I have to wait for another year before experiencing that relief again.

I try to stay positive during these upcoming months. Sometimes it works, while at other times I will go silent weeks at a time because I hurt to much. Although If I can stay positive, I find it helps in a lot of ways. It at least keeps me going and looking forward.

I also paint during these months if I can push myself into doing so. I paint because I am able to disappear in my works, at least for a short amount of time I can actually forget about the pain, it is there yes... but it is pushed aside in the fog somewhere.. It is hard to explain. Not sure if that makes sense.

I hope this video helps others understand better what fibro suffers deal with. I know that it is a long video but it really is worth watching. The info is amazing! It is the best video i have seen out there so far. The song is not so bad either. Smiling...

Blessings to all my friends out there in blogger land. :)

Back from Vacation

2009-08-22T17:18:00.003-04:00

I am back from vacation. My family and I had a wonderful time. It was a very inspirational time for me. I am itching to get out a new canvas and my paints. :)

While we were in North Carolina looking at the beauty surrounding us, and one thought kept coming to mind, and that was... I am standing smack dab in the middle of God's Country. I was so awed by all the beauty. I am sharing one of the pictures my husband took while we were there. Everything is just so gorgeous there.

I hope everyone had a wonderful week, and is now having a great weekend.

I saw this email in my mail today and just had to share it all with you. It really warmed my heart.

This particular story just made me laugh. Every time I think about it, the vision of that poor cat just amuses me to no end. Hope the story leaves a bright spot in your day.

Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc.; but, the kitty would not come down.

The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and pulled it until the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten. Sooooo, that's what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car. He then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But, as he moved the car a little further forward, the rope broke. The tree went 'boing!' and the kitten instantly sailed through the air - out of sight. The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten. No .... nobody had seen a stray kitten.
So, he prayed, 'Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping,' and went on about his business. A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food.

This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, 'Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?' She replied, 'You won't believe this,' and then told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing.

Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, 'Well, if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it..' She told the pastor, 'I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her.'
Lesson learned:
Never underestimate the Power of God and His unique sense of humor.

Time for a Vacation with my guys,

2009-08-12T04:23:00.002-04:00

Blue Ridge Mountains

Hubby and I are taking our two teen boys on a vacation. We are going off to the place you see in this picture. I really can not think of a more beautiful place to spend a week enjoying river rafting, hiking, kayaking, exploring, and in general enjoying family time with all my guys! (lol even if the eldest is complaining he will be wasting a week of his life being unproductive with two old people! HAHA)

I will be back in about a week!

May God bless your own week with not only happiness and love, but peace.

My prayer for today.

2009-08-10T04:51:00.004-04:00

As I sit here drinking my coffee this morning I quietly reflect about how every day needs to be wrapped in prayer. We also need to protect ourselves with the spiritual armor that God has provided us with.

Just now I opened my email, and have read an email from Christianity.com Daily Inspirations. I would like to share some of what it said.

It talks about protecting ones mind with the The Helmet of Salvation. It shares that if you are a child of God, you have already been given this kind of safeguard to protect you from the enemy's attacks against your mind. The email points out that in Ephesians 6:17, Paul writes about the helmet of salvation. It states, "And take the helmet of salvation"...

In the final chapter of Ephesians, Paul deals extensively with the subject of spiritual armor. By the time we come to verse 17, he has already talked about the loin belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of peace, and the shield of faith. Now Paul speaks to us about the helmet of salvation, using the illustration of a Roman soldier's helmet to make his point.

We are being attacked on a daily basis by evil. We really do need to protect our thoughts and our souls by putting on the Helmet of Salvation.

Today i am going to share a prayer that is from that email of Christianity.com. I hope that as you embark on your day that it is full of blessings and that you have your own Helmet of Salvation firmly in place.

MY PRAYER FOR TODAY

Lord, I am so grateful for my salvation! It is the most wonderful gift You have ever given me. It changed my life and set me free; it brought healing to my body and deliverance to my mind. I want to wrap the knowledge of all that my salvation includes around my mind so tightly that the devil can never steal these benefits from my life. Holy Spirit, I ask You to help me study and to understand everything Jesus purchased for me at the Cross. Reveal it to me; convince me of its truth; and help me to wear that revelation knowledge on my head like a mighty, fortified, spiritual helmet!

I pray this in Jesus' name!

MY CONFESSION FOR TODAY

I confess that I wear my salvation tightly around my mind like a helmet. When the enemy tries to attack my mind and to chop away at the benefits of my salvation, his attacks are completely ineffective! My mind is convinced of all that salvation means for me, and my mind is trained and taught to think correctly according to that knowledge. Therefore, the knowledge of my salvation becomes a helmet in my life. It doesn't matter how hard the devil tries to hack away at my mind, I still stand strong because I know what Jesus' death and resurrection purchased for me!

I declare this by faith in Jesus' name!

This song is for those friends in my life..

2009-08-08T14:16:00.007-04:00

Another song sung by the Oak Ridge boys.

When painting I often play the Oak Ridge boys. Not only do they sing great gospel but all their songs in general tend to touch my heart.

This song in particular makes me think of some special people in my life who were or are part of my past. Ones who I never had a chance to say goodbye to, or stay in touch with. They however are always in my heart and often on my mind, I will never let the memories die just as long as I am alive.
I have been fortunate of late to get in touch with a few of these friends from my past. What a blessing that has been. :)

Isn't it funny how some people you meet in life will always be a part of your memories and your life? I have friends now who are special.... Past, present, future friends.. this song is for you.

I have been blessed with friends. Thank you to those who are a part of mine now.

Blessings.

Here are the lyrics to that special song.

I Guess It Never Hurts to Hurt Sometimes

Sometimes I feel a wave
Of a past break in my mind
And I know it's gone for good
And it makes me want to cry
Is this all we get to keep
As the years go rollin' by
Just a memory
For all the days gone by.

Oh you're always in my heart
And you're often on my mind
I will never let it die
Just as long as I'm alive
Sometimes it makes me sad
That we never said goodbye
Oh I guess it never hurts
To hurt sometimes.

You try and hold on to the moment
But time won't let you stay
But for every step you take
You lose something on the way
You can't look forward to tomorrow
And still hold on to yesterday
Oh I hope that you can hear me
When I'm saying

A blast from the past

2009-08-08T13:52:00.000-04:00

I have always loved the Oak Ridge boys.

How can you not smile, dance and sing along when hearing this song?

It makes ones soul sing.

Thinking of my husband

2009-08-08T13:08:00.002-04:00

So True!

2009-08-06T14:22:00.003-04:00

I received this in an email from a friend today, and about busted out laughing, i related with it so much! Working out with a personal trainer has it's good and bad points. I feel better physically then i have ever in my life, but... I also hurt more then ever. (I am always in pain, but this pain is different.) I have not lost weight (well a lousy five pounds in four months!) but have lost inches. I have more stamina and more strength, but the pain... omg the pain. laughs! This story could be about me..... I hope you enjoy.

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM
If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
_____________________________
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
_______ ________________________
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.
_______________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasal whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the heck would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other crap too.
_______________________________
THURSDAY:
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny witch to find me.Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
_______________________________
FRIDAY:
I hate that witch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.

Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the stupid barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
________________________________
SATURDAY:
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
_______________________________
SUNDAY:

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little brat) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

Thought of the day

2009-08-03T22:29:00.002-04:00

We are still masters of our fate.
We are still captains of our souls.
Winston Churchill

We have one life. One life to learn, one life to live fully, and one life to love fully.

As I sit and reflect on what I want my own life to be, I remind myself that we have only one life to fully connect with not only our friends and family but with God.

I hope that as I live my life , I am doing exactly that.

If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.
St. Clement of Alexandra

Thought of the day

2009-08-02T08:36:00.006-04:00

You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."*

* Adrian Rogers, 1931*

Prayer and update for my friends.

2009-07-30T21:07:00.004-04:00

Life is good. My husband has gotten a job. ( Thank you all for your prayers, and kind words) My sons are strong and healthy. I am spending my days working on not only my physical health but also my spiritual health.

God is such a blessing in my life. At times I feel I do not deserve to be so blessed. I can only praise God more for watching over me, and blessing me with all that he has. I am thankful and humbled.

I know I have been silent of late. My reasons are simply that I have felt at a loss for words. Words just would not flow from me, so I have wanted to just sit with God, and allow my soul to strengthen within him before writing here in my blog.

I have thought about shutting my blog down truthfully, but something in me says this is not the time.

I have honestly fought with myself on many occasions, thinking that if I have no words or thoughts to share, I should just end the blog. The other part of me, the part deep within my soul shouts at me no it is not time to end this blog. This voice or feeling one might say has kept me from doing so. Please understand, I love my blogger friends dearly! I have not forgotten any of you trust me. I simply have run out of words. I do not want to force myself to write down words simply to write them. Instead I want this blog to be a place of not only growth, but one of substance. So If I go long periods of not writing, please know it is because no words are flowing. :)

Tonight following that same voice deep down, I feel the need to say a prayer for several of my friends. You know who you are. The prayer is for those of you who are struggling with life issues. Your own voice inside or feeling will tell you this is for you. I chose a song by Casting Crowns for my prayer. Yes I know that sharing a song as a prayer might seem silly, but It really has the words that I want to pray.

Please hear my heart dear Lord as I lift up this prayer in words for all those friends who are struggling with the problems in their lives.

Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do
I lift my friend (friends)to You
Complicated circumstances have clouded his (her) view
Lord, I lift my friend up to You

I fear that I won't have the words that he(she)needs to hear
I pray for Your wisdom, oh God, and a heart that's sincere
Lord, I lift my friend up to You

Lord, I lift my friend to You
I know he (she) means much more to You
I want so much to help him (her), but this is something he (she) has to do
And Lord, I lift my friend up to You.

Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen - Hebrews 11:1" -

Thats life....

2009-06-27T20:50:00.004-04:00

I have had no real words to express lately. Life is moving forward even though I am unsure which direction it is moving.

My husband lost his job along with more then 30 other employees in his company because of company politics! No good reasons were given, just a game being played, and impacting so many families. We all are in shock truthfully that such silliness can happen. It did however, and now we are having to deal.

It happened fast and our heads are still spinning. It is a long story and too complicated truthfully to explain. We are now trying to figure out what we should now do. There are a lot of options being put in front of us, but none are really clear paths. It is a time of waiting, and being patient. (the patient part is hard for me.) I guess though that life is never easy, if it were we would never appreciate all the blessings that happen each and every day.

We would like to stay put, and not move for several reasons. We would like to see our sons finish high school with out another move. We would also like to stay in the house that we have built. We have been in the home such a short time, a little over a year. We are still working on areas in the house that are undone. I also have a couple of really close friends that would be deeply missed.

Hopefully we will be able to stay and not move. Only time will tell I guess.

On a bright note, one thing that has happened during this time of uncertainty, is my twin and her husband came for a visit. What a blessing that was! We had a wonderful time together, and it was a nice break from all the unknown.

My twin and I had such a good time catching up and just being together that i feel lost now that she is gone. We also were pleasantly surprised that our husbands who met for the first time hit it off, and had a great time visiting also! That was a huge blessing, and such a gift. I enjoyed visiting with them so much i did not want them to leave. :) I miss my twin already.

I am leaving on Monday to visit family in Iowa. My Aunt has been very sick, she has had several strokes and I want to give her a hug. I think i really need to be with family right now. Maybe it will help calm me. I will be gone a little over a week. Hopefully when I return my husband and I will have a clearer picture of what our future holds.

I would like to thank all of you for your wonderful support, and for your encouraging words. I am blessed that so many people in blogger land care, and have me in their prayers.

*** This week i have tried visiting my friends in blogger land, and for some reason blogger has not been working. I try to post and sometimes it works, and other times it wont! Please know that I will try and catch up again with all of you when I return from Iowa.***

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD. Difficult moments, SEEK GOD. Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD. Painful moments, TRUST GOD. Every moment, THANK GOD.

2009-06-10T23:26:00.005-04:00

My family and I are going through some tough times right now, and things are not going to get any easier in the near future I think. Amazingly enough while sitting here worrying and wondering what the future holds for me and my family, I was reminded that when walking down an unknown path that is dark and has lots of twists and turns, if you brighten that path with a little light one can see all that stands in ones way, and go a lot further down that very path.

Faith, and prayer is so very important during each trial a person might face in life. So I am going to hold out my hand and grab onto Jesus, and let him light and guide the way. He already knows where we are heading. All I need to do is trust in him to get us there safely.

My prayer for tonight as I head off to bed is a verse I saw just moments ago.

" Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ says the LORD of hosts." Therefore " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." - Zechariah 4:6, Philippians 4:13

So by the Spirit of Christ I shall allow him to strengthen me, and I shall stop worrying so much about situations I have no control over.

Thank you Jesus for your love that you have always shown me, for your insight when i can not see, and your strength when I am feeling powerless. Amen

First stage of wave painting

2009-05-28T17:38:00.000-04:00

Here is the very first stage of my wave painting. I have a lot of details to add to this painting yet. As I work I will show you my progression. I hope you enjoy.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Blessings

Getting back on track

2009-05-27T15:32:00.002-04:00

Just a quick update on whats happening in my life.

It has been a long time in coming. Lots of healing, years actually, but i finally have been trying to get myself centered, and back on track to where I was before a lot of trauma took place in my life several years back.

I have been spending my days working on my health both physically and spiritually. I have been working out every day. Three of those days I work out two hours with a physical trainer. She is doing her job! I am soooo sore. In a good way of course, but oh wow..... there are days I can barely move. lol

Spiritually speaking I have been spending time with God in prayer, and just walking or sitting with him, allowing him to be my friend. I think so many of us forget that God is the best friend we can have!

This song is where my soul is right now. Needing to be close with God.

I hope everyone is doing well. Soon I will try to update everyone on how things are going in my life.

Feeling Motivated

2009-05-12T12:21:00.002-04:00

(Picture taken by my husband outside on our deck.)

I started working out with a personal trainer yesterday. I will be working with her three times a week on top of the exercise program I already am doing with Water Aerobics.

I am rather excited truth be told, and rather exhausted! She really pushed me to go above and beyond what I normally would do if I was working on my own. I think the work outs will be tough, but in a good way. I am feeling very motivated of late to get myself into shape. I am tired of always being sick, and very tired of my health issues holding me down. This personal trainer is also a physical therapist. She has worked with a lot of women who have medical problems. She understands my medical issues, and is sure she can work with me and get me back into shape!
For me this is exciting news. I have been sick way to long, and I have missed out on to many beautiful days.

The next few months I am hoping to not only get in shape, but also work on a new painting idea that I have been thinking on for some time.

The painting will be all about a single wave spread out on the canvas. I love the ocean, and love the colors of the sea. I am hoping to create a painting that will make one feel like they are part of the wave when looking at it. I want ones soul to soar and feel not only complete freedom a wave has in movement, and expression, but also feel exuberant,and fully alive. I want one to feel ready to take on what ever might be in ones path and future. I want the person to feel as if they are inside the wave, and moving with it. Make sense?

I will be showing my work in stages like I have done in the past here on my blog. (First stage will be shone soon.) I hope you enjoy following my progress as I embark on this new experience.

A need for solace and a place to be quiet

2009-05-03T21:35:00.003-04:00

(Picture taken by my husband.)

Lately I have been in a meditative mood. The world seems to be taking a turn toward insanity. It is no surprise really, since the bible tells us it will. It still makes me sad to see such craziness happening in our world.

With all that is happening in our world, I have needed to become more centered. I have needed to really understand what I believe, and to stick to those beliefs.

I have also wanted to grab onto what is important in my life. To be with my family and friends. To search out those who I love, and let them know I love them. I have needed to stand with God hand and hand.

A need for solace and a place to be quiet has been a constant in my life lately. The ocean is a place I always turn to because that is where my spirit sores and I feel closest with God. Even knowing this I have had to remember that one needs to be firmly grounded in God's word.

In order to stay close with God one has to take bible in hand.

Pulling out the bible I came to Ecclesiastes today.

This book, and verse speaks to me and the times we are living.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-18(New International Version)

A Time for Everything

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

What does the worker gain from his toil?

I have seen the burden God has laid on men.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.

That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God.

I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.

Whatever is has already been,
and what will be has been before
and God will call the past to account.

And I saw something else under the sun:
In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
in the place of justice—wickedness was there.

I thought in my heart,
"God will bring to judgment
both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
a time for every deed."

Quiet Musings regarding my latest Painting.

2009-05-03T02:38:00.002-04:00

(I never fully understood how a woman can see an image larger then they really are while looking at themselves in a mirror. I am now seeing that it is real, and it does happen. Of course I am not anorexic but I defiantly see a woman staring back at me that is not reality based.)

I have had a few comments about my latest work "Full of Beauty" from a few people who are close to me.

I asked my husband several times if I got the lady right in the picture. If i captured my real self? He always got quiet, and said the painting is beautiful. I would push and say yeah but the lady??? Did I capture myself? He would go quiet, never really wanting to answer. Probably because he has told me many times that I see something other then he does when looking at me.

After asking again the other day my husband said that I exaggerated how large I really am. He said yes I am larger then I want to be, but I painted the lady bigger than I really am. Then quickly said but the painting is beautiful!

Today I was with a good friend of mine, and she quietly told me that I am not as large or old looking as I painted myself in that painting. She felt it was a good painting, but not one that is true to who I really am. She asked me what I was using to look at when i painted myself? She wanted to know if i looked in the mirror, or had a picture as a guide during the time I was painting? When I told her I used nothing but an image in my own head, she nodded, and said ok that makes sense. She told me that image was not a true image of me.

To be completely honest my husband took a few pictures of me from behind, and when I saw them I could only look at them for a few moments, and then I shut the camera of. Wanting him to delete them right away! I hated what I saw, and felt deep sadness when regarding myself. The image I saw made me want to cry. I had so many thoughts and feelings at that moment. I truly was disgusted, and saddened that I could be so over weight. I wondered to myself how can I paint that lady?

I had to do a soul check truthfully. I had to really come to terms with what is important in life. I had to give myself a pep talk that day. One shouldn't care so much about outer appearances, it is the inner beauty that is important is what I told myself.

It took me several months to come up with enough courage to paint what I saw that day.
I never once considered that maybe I was seeing a warped image of the real me.

Isn't it interesting how we see one thing in regards to ourselves, while others see something entirely different?

I have always seen a lady who is fat and ugly in the mirror. It did not matter how thin or what weight I actually was at the time. I simply saw fat, and ugly.

I could never understand why people see me as beautiful. I would privately think to myself that the person telling me that was either crazy... or just trying to make me feel better.

I always go silent when someone says I am pretty. It confuses me truthfully. In my mind I ask who are they seeing? Because it sure as hell is not me! I have laughed at people when they say Tracy you are pretty. I say aha.. thank you, and change the subject. A few have said wait! You really are. Why can you not see that! I just stare at them blankly because I am thinking, can you not see what I see? I actually get mad because I have felt like others are lying to me just to make me feel better.

I thought when painting "Full of Beauty" it would be an experience of letting go of baggage. The baggage of gaining weight. I now see it is a reality check for me instead.

The reality is, I honestly see someone different when I look in the mirror. I had to finally come to terms with the fact maybe it is me seeing wrong, and not everyone else.

It is something to ponder on.

Very interesting indeed......

A time to enjoy the simple pleasures in life.

2009-04-29T22:50:00.004-04:00

My soul yearns for the simple.. So I am spending time reflecting on things that make me happy. A walk on the beach, a walk in the woods, a walk hand and hand with whom my heart and soul yearns to be with. Walking in silence, and enjoying the company of God.
Here is a poem written by one of our greatest poets to go with my mood.

A Dream Pang
by: Robert Frost

I had withdrawn in forest, and my song
Was swallowed up in leaves that blew alway;
And to the forest edge you came one day
*This was my dream) and looked and pondered long,
But did not enter, though the wish was strong:
you shook your pensive head as who should say,
'I dare not--to far in his footsteps stray-
He must seek me would he undo the wrong.'

Not far, but near, I stood and saw it all
behind low boughs the trees let down outside;
And the sweet pang it cost me not to call
And tell you that I saw does still abide.
But 'tis not true that thus I dwelt aloof,
For the wood wakes, and you are here for proof.

A quiet moment

2009-04-28T20:40:00.004-04:00

(Picture taken by my husband.)

Today was the perfect day for walking on the beach. While walking I allowed my soul to be quiet, which allowed my spirit to soar. The ocean always helps me feel closer to God. I always feel such awe at that feeling I get when I am at the ocean.

I found this poem this afternoon, and thought it perfect for how I felt today as I walked along the shore.

Sonnet #43, From the Portuguese
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but thee better after death.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Full Of Beauty

2009-04-23T13:24:00.002-04:00

Painting is called Full of Beauty.

Hi everyone,

Here, is my latest painting. It is a very personal painting, because it is painting of myself. I am calling this work "Full Of Beauty".

I saw an image in my mind of total freedom in being me. I have always been so self cautious of my weight gain over the years. A weight gain caused by emotional trauma and physical health issues.

I feel God has slowly been showing me that no matter the size of the woman they can be seen as beautiful.

This painting will be one of emotional growth in seeing the beautiful lady that God created. I also hope that it will be an expression of shedding many layers of emotional baggage and show casing that I am a survivor!

I am showing myself walking into the ocean and dropping a towel, allowing it to slide slowly down into the sea..a symbol of the baggage being shed that i have carried through out the years.

The reason I chose a sunrise for the sky is because it is a representation of a fresh start, and new beginnings.

This is the first time i have painted the human form, and i acutally chose to paint myself. Go figure.... lol

I like to let God guide me when i paint, and this was the time to paint this.

As always i love feedback on my works. It helps me to grow not only in my work but spiritually.

I hope you all enjoy.

1st and 2nd Stage's in New Ocean Painting

2009-04-22T08:00:00.004-04:00

(above picture of 1st stage of painting.)

(above picture is 2nd stage of painting)

Because I have not been feeling very well of late I haven't been doing much in painting. Now that I am feeling so much better I am able to do what I love! Here is the very first stage in the new painting I am working on. As you see in the 1st stage it needs lots of work still, but thought you would like to follow me on this latest journey in creating another one of my visions. I still need to even out the sea line, and work on the ocean, as well as paint the main reason for this painting.

In the 2nd stage, the sea is more even, and the water looks more real. There is more movement. I have added more to the sand, making it appear as if the water has been pulling in. I am now going to move to the third stage.

I am hoping I am able to paint myself. I saw an image in my mind of total freedom in being me. I have always been so self cautious of my weight gain over the years. A weight gain caused by emotional trauma and physical health issues.

I feel God has slowly been showing me that no matter the size of the woman they can be seen as beautiful.

This painting will be one of emotional growth in seeing the beautiful lady that God created. I also hope that it will be an expression of shedding many layers of emotional baggage and show casing that I am a survivor!

I will be painting myself walking into the ocean and dropping a towel, allowing it to slide slowly down into the sea..a symbol of the baggage being shed that i have carried through out the years.

The reason I chose a sunrise for the sky is because it is a representation of a fresh start, and new beginnings.

I hope you enjoy watching the stages as they take place. Hopefully as I progress in this painting I will not be to shy to post the painting.

Blessings my friends!

Life is better

2009-04-21T18:40:00.002-04:00

Getting better sleep, feeling more alive, enjoying life....

Today my family is on my mind. My mom and dad in particular. Growing up we listened to music a lot. Between Conway Twitty songs that my mother sang, and Johnny Cash songs that my dad sang.. I am in a remembering mood. Smiling and enjoying the memories i had with my parents.

I love you both! Some day Mom I will see you again. Dad... Someday soon i hope to see you, hugging you close!

Here is a song my dad listened to.
A boy named Sue!

Here is a song I remember my mom singing.
Hello Darlin

I saw God today

2009-04-17T03:53:00.003-04:00

I am up once again with only a few hours sleep, but laughing with my friend Tart on chat, what a nice surprise. I showed her the test results I took on facebook that made me go wow! The results fit me to a tee. Tart and I thought I should share it here on my blog. So here goes.

Tracy completed the quiz "What is your theme song?" with the result George Straight -I Saw God Today.
You've got a new sense of a supernatural love in your life. You've begun to notice the little things that have been specifically placed in your life, just to make you smile. You are at peace with yourself and the world. Good for you!

Here is the video. I hope you enjoy!

I'll Take You There

2009-04-16T15:39:00.005-04:00

You ever just need to sing?? And sing out loud while you dance??? I have to sing today, I have to dance. I need to get this energy out of my body and soul. I am running on tiredness, running on nerves, and just flat out running....

Sometimes a special song gets stuck in ones head and helps one relax. I have been singing this song all day.

This is an oldie but goodie that is for sure.

Here is a song to dance to..... Grins.

Singing loudly, and dances while painting today.

Hope you are having a blessed day!

All comments are now being moderated until further notice

2009-04-15T06:22:00.002-04:00

Sorry all. Due to some nasty anonymous commenter I am putting all my comments on moderation. I am sad to have to do this, however what this person is posting on my blog is unacceptable, and rather disturbing.

Hugs to all my blogger friends. Thank you for all your wonderful support and for blessing my life with your uplifting comments.

May you all have a blessed day!

Dedicated to you anonymous... I sing this with pride

2009-04-14T11:55:00.003-04:00

Toby Keith - Courtesy Of The Red White And Blue

This post is dedicated to the anonymous commenter a few posts down. I mean every word of this song, and proud of it. ( btw it is my right to be proud of my country, and to stand up for what i believe in. Thank heavens for the American way!)

Here is the comment that they left.

Anonymous said...
Yes...because you was guildy for that.Do you remember,what you have written in the past in this blog?!
You blessed USA or Bush for that what he has done,slaughting innocent people in iraq and afghanistan.

Your rap was your payment for this.

Go to hell,fuckin bitch!!!!!

I have allowed for open comments on my blog, because i do want to hear what people have to say regarding my posts. However that does not mean i am open for abusive language, or mean spirited remarks. I speak openly here about what i believe in, and the morals i have. It is clearly stated on my side bar that I am one who has strong beliefs. I am not going to apologise for my beliefs, or my thoughts. If you have a problem with my blog posts, you are free to not read them.

I will not allow anyone to spout out abusive words to me...... I am proud to be a Christian. I am proud to be a conservative Christian. I am proud to be an American who is a conservative Christian.

My rape was not because of my beliefs. MY RAPE was because some sick person thought RAPE was acceptable. The fact that you mr. or mrs. anonymous would think rape was ok for any reason and has to hide behind anonymous... (just shows your character btw) Stop reading my blog.. Or at least have the decency to show yourself.

Happy Easter my friends.

2009-04-12T07:55:00.004-04:00

Hi all. I have been dealing with a new medicine my doctor has wanted me to try. The medicine has been messing up my sleeping patterns. Some nights I have not slept at all. Other nights i sleep a few hours. So i am rather sleep deprived. All in all I feel rather punchy and have not been able to think. I have not wanted to post or talk with to many because i am not making a lot of sense. Thank you everyone who has commented on the posts below. I am blessed to have so many who care about me.

I do want to wish all my friends a very happy Easter though, and post a video a friend of mine sent via email. I hope you find it as uplifting and inspiring as i have! No matter what we all may be dealing with in our lives, we need to remember never to give up! We need to keep getting back up when we are knocked down, and move forward. There is always hope.

I will be reading and catching up on all your posts soon my blogger friends. Just as soon as i can think again clearly.

Hugs, and blessings sent to each and every one of you!

Just because.....

2009-03-30T21:30:00.005-04:00

I know I posted this song before on my blog, however I relate with the song, and wanted to share it once again. :) Besides some songs are just classic, and deserved to be revisited from time to time.

Thankfully the people i surround myself with now do not play head games. I am much more selective when choosing my friends now. :) Thank you to those I call friend for being so honest, and such a blessing for me.

A post for myself. Working it all out in my head.

2009-03-30T19:20:00.008-04:00

Before you read, please know that after writing this post, I almost did not post it. It is a personal post that is meant for healing. My healing. Sometimes i think it is important to just write about stuff that one is holding in or thinking about. I am OK, just needed to vent some.

OK I figured it is time to write in my blog. Not just an every day post, but a real from the heart and soul post.

It has been so long since I have written anything personal.

I have been basically keeping my thoughts and feelings light hearted, and have spoken words that are what I like to call surface talk. Not allowing myself to think to deeply. Maybe it was because I needed to talk about nothing to deep. Who knows.

I made this blog to talk about issues though. Both emotional ones and physical ones. For some reason I got off that path. I guess i wanted or needed to be only positive. Which is great to, but sometimes life is not all about good.

There is so much i can write about. I think my senses become overwhelmed so i write nothing.

So tonight i am going to break that silence. I am going to just pick one of the many things that i am emotionally dealing with, and allow myself to release what I have held in. I need to get rid of some much needed baggage. I might not make any sense to my readers. I am not sure i will make sense to me....

Every time I turn around lately, I have had a certain topic brought up. It has come up on the T.v, in books,on the radio, and I even have had it come up with a friend of late.

The topic that was brought to the surface for me Is regarding rape. Such an ugly word really.

In my life time i have dealt with more then my fair share of hurt and pain. I have gone to counseling, have talked about the topic with a few select friends, and even addressed it here on my blog.

It was all a game to those who raped me. A game i do not get, or even want to understand.

I really hate this topic! I hate that I even have to deal with it at all. I always felt that if I went to counseling , if I talked about it, if I forgave those that hurt me I would experience peace.

I have given my pain over to God. Long ago I have given it to him. I still feel pain when the topic comes up.

Why is it I feel like it never will go away???? Why is it when I talk about rape I want to scream still? Why is it still a black spot with in my soul. Why can I not just tear those memories out of my mind, and throw them away, never to be looked at again? Why do I feel the need to even think on it?

I need to know why after all this time, it still feels so close to the surface? Why is it when I watch TV, talk to a friend, or even read about someone who has been raped, I get upset. I should be healed. I SHOULD BE FULLY HEALED... So why am I not?????

Those are questions I need answered. Those are questions that I know only God can answer.

I forgive, but can not forget. Maybe someday I will be able to look back at those times in my life, and see that in the long run I survived.

I survived, and I am a survivor. I am not a pawn to be used, abused and played with.....

I was raped in the month of April.

Maybe that is why it is all coming to the surface. Still i should be healed.

It is time....... Time to be fully healed.

I am back

2009-03-19T07:03:00.004-04:00

(picture taken by my husband)

Hi Everyone. I know it has been a long time since I have posted. There have been a few reasons i haven't. I have been very stressed to be honest.

My husband went out of town for six weeks due to work. I have a very hard time when he leaves. I actually had a lot of anxiety attacks, and every time i sat down to explain what was going on in my life no words would come, or i would feel even more anxiety.
I have been this way for as long as i can remember. I just do not deal well with being left alone. I am told through therapy that it is because I feel abandoned. I have huge abandonment issues. My head tells me one thing that I am fine, he has not left "me" and he will return. When something else deep down inside of me says it is untrue, something bad will happen and he is never going to return. It is very illogical i know this, but non the less it is what i go through each and every time.

Those of you who have followed my blog for a very long time know that this is a very hard thing for me to overcome. I became sick during the time he was away, probably because of the stress i was feeling. Now that my husband is home I am feeling better, but still dealing with fibro issues.

While my husband was gone my youngest son started having seizures. (I found this out yesterday when my husband and i took my son to the emergency room. My son never told me so i thought he was just messing around when i heard a thump! He would yell that he was just messing around. grrrr. He said he did not tell me because he did not want to worry me!) However he could by with that for long. The other night my son actually passed out in front of my husband and I! He went into a seizure. His eyes were wide open, and his head was shaking somewhat, and he looked liked he was trying to talk, but could not. It scared the living daylights out of us!

When he came out of the seizure, he had no real memory other then he felt like he was going to faint right before he did. The doctors told us that he needs to go to a neurologist. We set up an appt. and now we play the waiting game... My son is ok, and dealing with this very well it seems. He however is upset that the doctor told him he can not ride horses until we figure out all that is going on. He loves horses.

An update on my Twin, since i know several of you are also wondering how she is. My twin has had a very busy life! She became a cna (certified nursing assistant) during this time! I am so proud of her. However she to has had a hard couple of months. She has been very sick. She has struggled through pneumonia and just now found out her thyroid levels are very high! She has been losing so much weight. So she is now being sent to get more testing done. She should know more after she goes through more testing.

Through all that sickness she became a cna anyway! Yayyy Stacy! I am so very proud of her!!! This was a huge accomplishment!

My hubby and I celebrated our 18th anniversary yesterday! Even though we spent much of the day in the hospital with our youngest son I feel rather blessed that at least we are dealing with this situation together, and I am not all alone, because i would have freaked i think. I love my husband so very much and am proud that we have shared 18 wonderful years together.

Thank you to all who check out my blog every day. Thank you for caring and not giving up on my blog.

I hope you all have a blessed day!

Heart Of Life

2009-02-17T16:01:00.000-05:00

Painting: "Heart of Life"
Painted by: Tracy Jo

I painted this today. It is my expression of pure Joy, Passion, and the gift of being a woman. I hope you all enjoy!

Comments are always welcome. :)

To my Husband

2009-02-14T23:53:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentines Babe.

I love you sweet man of mine!

Serenity part two

2009-02-09T12:20:00.003-05:00

I finished the second painting in my Serenity series. The first one was a fox, this one is of the buck. Now i am off to paint number three. :)

The first painting shown is the buck painting alone.

The second one is side by side with the fox painting.

I think it is coming out great! Now I am off to work on the third painting.

Hope everyone is having an ok week.

I have had to deal with sick boys, and myself being sick the last several days. I am starting to feel a little better today, but still not feeling 100 percent.

Hope you enjoy the second painting my my series!

Hugs and blessings sent to you all.

Time of reflection

2009-02-03T09:22:00.001-05:00

I have not been feeling all that well, emotionally or physically. I need a little light in my life right now. I have been spending time sitting with the Lord.

Today i am going to spend more time with him while i paint.

My Mother passed away 11 years ago, tomorrow Feb the 4th. It still hurts when this time of the year comes around. I have been doing my best to pull myself out of this slump i seem to be be in.

I am sorry I have not been around much. Hopefully the upcoming weeks will be better.

Hope you enjoy this song. It lifted my spirits when I heard it. It makes me remember that some day i will no longer have tears, and my Jesus I will see.... There will be no more sorrow.... no more sickness.... no more pain.

What a day that will be when my Jesus I shall see.

The Journey Home

2009-01-22T11:41:00.001-05:00

The Journey Home
Painting done by: Tracy Jo

Here is my finished painting i started yesterday. I am not sure why the path is blue, it is a light violet when looking at it in person. I will see if my husband can take a better picture of it tonight.

I hope you all enjoy!

As usual all comments are welcome.

Blessings

First stage of a new painting

2009-01-21T12:54:00.003-05:00

This is stage one of a painting i am working on. I am exploring light, and putting down my passions on canvas. I am not sure exactly where i am heading with this painting. I know the bottom of this painting looks like water, but that wont look like water when i am done.

Today i just sat and painted. This is what emerged. I want to be able to just paint from the soul. I am hoping that emotions will be released. I know that i try to do that with every painting i do, so i guess i am still exploring allowing my emotions to show.

hmmmmmm lets see what happens when i sit down to it next.

As always i love to get your first impressions. I asked my eldest son, and well he said mom, i really am not good at seeing emotions on canvas. He just sees light, and color. lol

Hugs

To my computer friends

2009-01-17T15:10:00.001-05:00

Dear Lord,
Every single evening
As I'm lying here in bed,
This tiny little Prayer
Keeps running through my head:
God bless all my family
Wherever they may be,
Keep them warm and safe from harm
For they're so close to me.
And God, there is one more thing
I wish that you could do;
Hope you don't mind me asking,
Please bless my computer too.
Now I know that it's unusual
To Bless a motherboard,
But listen just a second
While I explain it to you, Lord.
You see, that little metal box
Holds more than odds and ends;
Inside those small compartments
Rest so many of my friends.
I know so much about them
By the kindness that they give,
And this little scrap of metal
Takes me in to where they live.
By faith is how I know them
Much the same as you.
We share in what life brings us
And from that our friendships grew.
Please take an extra minute
From your duties up above,
To bless those who are my blogger friends.
That's filled with so much love.
Wherever else this prayer may reach
To each and every friend,
Bless each blogger friend,
And each person who comments here.
When you update your Heavenly list
On your own Great CD-ROM,
Bless everyone who says this prayer
Sent up to GOD.Com
Amen

Starting the year with exericising using Wii-Fit

2009-01-12T11:04:00.003-05:00

I am finally using my wii-fit, and I love it! Up until this week i have only used wii-sports. I have enjoyed every minute of the wii-sports, and think it a wonderful way to get yourself moving while having fun at the same time. I find though that if i use both the sports and the fit together I will get an overall better work out.

This is my second day using wii-fit, and already i see some results. It is great for warming up, learning how to stretch correctly and for improving ones balance and helping one to breath correctly. With the wii-fit it tracks your progress, calculates how much you need to lose, and helps you come up with a fitness program that is right for you. It lets you know when you are not working out right, and keeps you totally focused on moving just right. It also keeps track of how many minutes you are working out. I find myself really enjoying wii-fit!

In the second picture i have posted here, I learned a lot while doing this specific exercise. First off never do this exercise when you have a Maltese around! I kept trying to do the tummy tuck while my lily girl thought i was on the floor to play with her! I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt! She was all over my face licking me , and keep jumping all over me, hugging and kissing me... to the point i had no choice but to stop, move her to another room, and rush back to do these difficult exercises... lol I have to admit having her play while i was on the ground lifted my mood right up! (Although the program was chastising me for not keeping my hips tucked under) laughing! The program knows when you are not doing the exercise right or at all!

I do not think I have ever been chastised by a computer program...lol It does keep you focused though and motivates you to keep moving, which is a wonderful thing.

My mood has been so lifted after working out with wii, that i have been able to accomplish other things right away.

If you have never seen or heard of wii-fit, you should check it out! Especially if you have trouble keeping motivated of focused while trying to lose weight and keep in shape.. I love it!

I hope you all have a blessed day!

Thought of the day :In God, there is peace that is greater than the turmoil caused by our dieting!

Bible Quote of the day :
Philippians 4:7
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

New look for a new year!

2009-01-06T08:23:00.002-05:00

As you can see i have changed things up a little. I still need to work on the blog in general, but I think this new look is a good one. It says a lot about my personality, and in general touches the artist in me.

I have had a lot of new things going on in life of late. One of them is I received a new wii and wii fit for my birthday! One of my goals this year is to work out. To get fit, and hopefully that will mean get healthy. I am trying new things, and hope to spiritually grow with in the Lord. Painting is also a goal for me. I want to improve my painting skills. With the Lords help maybe this time next year I will achieve my goals.

Please be patient while i work on changing up my blog!

Blessings sent from me to you.

Happy New Years!

2008-12-31T10:30:00.001-05:00

Happy New Years everyone.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Thank you to those who left comments on my last post. I have been blessed to have so many people who care about me and feel blessed to have so many wonderful blogging friends!

My Christmas was wonderful, I am still recovering from all the work, and energy I put into this years celebration.

Every Year I change up my blog some. I like a new start to the new year.

I am still working on my new blog layout so please be patient while i spend time figuring out how I want my new blog page to look. I have already changed the main picture to one my husband took from our bedroom balcony one morning. I also changed my profile info, and added my real life picture that I took a few weeks ago. Now everyone can see who is behind the written posts! Please feel free to comment on my new changes. I am still not sure if the top picture of the sunrise is the right picture for my blog. In a way it is, because a sunrise represents a new day. :)

I am hoping 2009 will be filled with many blessings, and joys for everyone.

I will be posting more soon, and visiting everyone's page soon. :)

Hugs and blessings sent your way!

Again Happy New years!

Christmas memories

2008-12-18T10:20:00.003-05:00

This time of year always makes me think of my mother. She loved Christmas, and that love has brushed off on me. :) One of my fondest memories is of Christmas eve. My twin and i would be so excited knowing that Santa would be coming that night. My mother would sing to us while she tucked us into bed. One of the songs she sang to us was Santa clause is coming to town. My mother had a beautiful voice, and very often my twin and i would be in awe while listening to her. We loved hearing her sing.

I thought i would post the song in memory of my mother. I miss her so very much, but I always feel so close to her at Christmas.

After singing to us, my twin and i would pretend to go to sleep. (Laughing, our mother was fully aware we were pretending.) We then would wait for everyone else to go to sleep and in the middle of the night, we would tip toe down the hallway, giggling and whispering to each other very excited about seeing what Santa brought us. My mother later told me that she always heard us and always knew we wouldn't be able to sleep until we had an idea of what we were getting. She always left the tree lights on so we could see...... Grinning wide. We then would tip toe back to our beds, whispering, and giggling again where we then would fall asleep with visions of Christmas morning to enter our dreams.

2008-12-10T09:25:00.002-05:00

My King - SM Lockridge

If you have never heard or seen this, I recommend taking the time to watch this message by a very powerful speaker. This video was shown at Cleansing streams, and it is so worth watching and hearing!

That's my King, do you know him?

I hope you enjoy!

2008-12-07T14:58:00.002-05:00

I know I haven't been around much lately. Between my fathers visit, and getting ready for more company at Christmas I have my hands full. I decorate a lot as well as bake, and take on all kinds of projects during this time of year. I am a huge Christmas fan. :) My mother also loved Christmas. It is probably where i got my love for this time of year from. I know my twin sister does also.

This video is sad, but it says so much. My twin and i talked about this last year i think, and we found out we both loved the movie that was made because of this song. We sat crying our eyes out, while watching it. Of course since we both live so far away we watched it separately. Funny though how very similar my twin and I are even though we are so different!

My Thanksgiving was a good one. I enjoyed my fathers visit, and am really missing him already.

I hope you all are doing well. I will be around to visit all your blogs soon!

Hugs and blessings sent to you all.

2008-11-24T06:07:00.005-05:00

My dad is coming to spend Thanksgiving with me and my family! I am soooo very excited. He arrives today and leaves on Tuesday a week from tomorrow. I have been busy planning menus shopping, and getting things ready for his visit. It has been about 4 years since i have seen him last. Longer for my sons, it is six long years since they have seen him! So the entire family is looking forward to seeing him. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving to those who celebrate. This year i have so many things to be thankful for. I feel so very blessed.

Hugs to all, I will be back blogging after my dad leaves.

2008-11-18T06:11:00.002-05:00

I got this in a mail today, and thought it was wonderfully inspiring. For me personally it was a reminder that no matter how bad things look, there is always a silver lining if one looks for it.

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a dry
well. The animal cried piteously for hours as
the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the
well needed to be covered up anyway;

it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and
help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began
to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the
donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.

Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally
looked down the well. He was astonished at what
he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his
back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel
dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it
off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey
stepped up over the edge of the well and
happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds
of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well
is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of
our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out
of the deepest wells just by not stopping,
never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

Live simply and appreciate what you have

Give more.

Expect less

2008-11-15T22:46:00.002-05:00

Serenity Series Painting #2

Buck up close

Here is another stage in my second painting on the Serenity Series.

Today I added more trees, depth and worked on the Buck.
In the next stage of this painting I will be working on more greenery as well add mist, work on more details on my buck, highlight snow, and figure out if i need more trees.

I am really enjoying the process in this series.

I hope everyone is having a blessed weekend!

2008-11-14T08:48:00.002-05:00

Words from the heart.

I know i haven't posted much lately, I am sorry if i have worried some of you by not doing such. I have been in a slump of late. Fibromyalgia has been rearing its ugly head, as well as putting me in a rather blah mood. The weather has been gloomy matching my mood i think. You add that i am not happy with who was elected for our president and am feeling very unsafe in knowing that he will be our President, it has really taken a tole on me spiritually and physically.

I know a lot of you voted for Obama, and I am happy for you and your happiness that Obama won the election.

For me however you need to please understand this man simply scares me.

Sure he is handsome, and young, has a nice smile, and is very charismatic, but i never did look at outer appearance's or just go on words alone. In my opinion actions are more important then words. Any one can talk a good game, but when it comes right down to it, it is actions that speak volumes. I look at the soul behind the person, and the actions one has exhibited. I believe he is going to do more harm to this country then good. He stands for most everything I am against.

I do not believe this man has any morals, and in the long run he will make only changes that will hurt our country, and not ones that will actually bring the change that most want. (Economically speaking.)

I know most of you who voted for the man will read this and you will feel angry. Know though that i never really share my thoughts regarding politics with others for that very reason. I do not like to offend anyone, and i am not comfortable with others being angry. This is why i keep my thoughts to myself. I believe though that my blogger friends will respect my feelings as i have respected a lot of yours when i have read your passion for wanting Obama in office. :)

I know that my blogger friends know me well enough that I am not saying any of this to judge others, but am simply expressing my thoughts and feelings on this topic. I do have a right to my thoughts just as you all do. I think you all feel the same way, and as i have said in the past I have the best blogger buddies one could ever ask for.

I do not like this mans Character. Some will say i am judging him harshly. I do not think this is judgement at all in not agreeing with Obama, or his views. It is having discernment. It is looking at the whole man and seeing his true character..

I am a mother who has a responsibility to teach my children about good Character, and what is right or wrong in the eyes of God... Not in the eyes of man....
For this very reason I have looked at all Obama stands for. I have looked at his Character, and i have had to dicern if this man truly will be good for not only my family but the country. I have had to look deep and to see the true soul of this man. I can honestly say from seeing this mans Character, looking at his actions of the past, and knowing that he is going to be our president, i do not feel safe one bit. So yes this depresses me.

What does bring me peace of mind is that God is watching over us. I am very blessed, and I know this, and I fully appreciate all the blessings God has given me. So I am putting all of my fears and all of my worries into God's hands. I will try and not worry about the direction this country has been taking for a very long time, and trust that God will continue watching over this nation as this new President takes office.

On that note i will close this post.

I hope you all have a blessed weekend.

2008-11-03T11:59:00.003-05:00

Here is my Serenity Painting, shown from different stages. I thought it would be nice seeing the stages all in one post. It makes it much easier to see the improvements made in each stage. I wish i had taken a picture before i put the fox in. Oh well , I did do that with the second Painting in this series. You can see that in the post below. The second painting in the series will have a buck in the painting. :)

2008-11-03T07:46:00.002-05:00

I have started the second painting in my Serenity series. This is the first stage the painting process. As you can see I have outlined an image of a Buck in the far distance in the painting. I will be working on placements of trees and bushes before I actually paint the deer. I am still trying to decide whether or not i will add a momma and her baby to the scene. I thought it might be really neat to have the Buck looking over his family out in the distance. I am not sure however if adding the momma and her baby would be to much for the canvas.

Today I will start painting more, and allow the scene to take shape as I go.

I hope you all are enjoying watching my Serenity series take shape as much as I am while painting them.

Blessings!

*** Btw I exchanged the picture in the previous post (Part 1 in my Serenity series) with a better quality one! The one i had showing all weekend was taken via my phone cam. I finally got around to taking a picture of the painting with a digital camera. :) Be sure to check it out. I was also thinking of making a post of all the paintings stages of my Serenity painting all together in one post. Allowing you all a better idea in seeing how each painting takes shape. Is this something you would be interested in seeing?

2008-10-31T14:48:00.003-04:00

Serenity
Painting by: Tracy Jo

Here is the finished painting of my fox painting. I have decided to call the painting Serenity.

This painting was my first real attempt at painting an animal using acrylics. I love the winter, and also love painting birch trees. I wanted this painting to feel calm, peaceful, and full of peace. I think I have accomplished that. It is a painting of total serenity.

I hope you all enjoy. As always I love to hear your thoughts and feelings regarding this painting. Please feel free to share!

2008-10-29T07:32:00.002-04:00

This award is for all of my wonderful blogger friends!

I have some of the most wonderful blogger friends in the world of blogger land. I feel so blessed truthfully that you all are in my life.

While driving to the doctors office I had time to really think about the people in my life who are so very supportive. I feel so awed at times that one can feel such support from people who comment on ones blog.

I feel like you all are friends of mine, even though I have never met most of you. It is truly amazing how close one can get just from following a blogger s life, and they yours. I am so happy you all are my friends.

Some of you have made such a positive impact in my life! I know with out a doubt that if i put a post up for prayer, or support you all will come running! Thank you so much to all of you!

A couple of you have become such close friends. One blogger friend I met in real life, (Tart) and she is now one of my very best friends! How wonderful it is to have her a part of my life. Not only do we follow one another s blog, but we also now pray together and read the bible together. I can not imagine not having such a wonderful person in my life! I feel our relationship is a God thing truthfully. God knew we needed one another and he guided us to each others blogs! ^.^

I am also blessed to have my twin sister as a blogger friend. I have always loved her for obvious reasons, but i feel now my twin sister has become one of my best friends because of blogger! We always have been close, but our relationship has become stronger now that she is in blog land. What a blessing that is! Thank you Stacy for loving me as much as you do and being such a wonderful friend. Thank you for taking the time to stay close with me. Thank you for being my twin! (not that you had a choice) Another God thing.... ^.^

I have been blessed with blogger friends who continually pray for me. Just look at my friend list and you will see all of those wonderful friends.>>>>>> One in particular stands out for me because he not only prays for me but also puts out a prayer on his blog! Mike thank you for this. With out you in my blogging life it would truly be a loss. Your continual friendship means the world to me.

I would like to give this award to those of you who have not only prayed for me, but given me much needed support. If you are on my friend list, please know that I give you this award with much gratitude and love!

This award is also for those who are not on my friend list, because either you have asked to not be added for privacy reasons, or you do not have a blog. Your friendship and support mean the world to me. (you all know who you are) ^.^

Thank you all for blessing my life with not only your much appreciated comments, and support, but also for your friendship.

2008-10-28T06:18:00.003-04:00

I thought i would give everyone a quick update on how i am doing. I have my ups and downs. Some days are worse then others. I have been keeping myself busy to keep intense mood swings at bay. Sometimes it works other times it does not. Fibro symptoms have been pretty intense this week, I am hoping it is because of the chemical changes in my body, and will go away when the med is out of my system.

Yesterday late afternoon I received a phone call saying I had a doctors appointment today at 1 pm with a neurologist to deal with my fibromyalgia. I was like huh? lol

Apparently the other doctors office not only sent me a referral but made me an appt. unknowingly to me! (would have been nice if they had called me and asked if today was a good time, and the time was ok. Also would have been nice just letting me know they made me an appointment!)

I just got the referral in the mail on friday from my doctor! I glanced at it and thought good i will call and make an appt with this doctor this week. Now obviously I do not have to.

Unfortunately i feel rushed now in trying to find out where this doctor's office is, and find directions. I found them... (thank you mapquest!) The directions are no biggy but jeezzzzzzz this put me in a panic and I am not sure exactly why.

First off I do not even know if this doctor is female or male? I have problems in meeting male doctors with out my husband around. I know that sounds silly, its something I am trying slowly to get over.

Secondly I just do not like going to talk with new doctors because lets face it, I have not had such wonderful experiences in the past with new doctors in general.

I really wanted my husband with me because doctors do tend to react different when the husband is in the room. They do not treat the woman like they have two heads, and are crazy insane.

My husband can not go. It is bad time for him. So I am praying that this doctor will be good, know about fibromyalgia and deal with me in a reasonable way.

I could cancel i guess and reschedule... however I have decided to just go and see what this doctor is like. Who knows this doctor might be the answer to my prayers...

Wish me luck!

Hugs and blessings sent your way.

2008-10-22T09:22:00.005-04:00

I had this long post written up asking for prayers for me. It embarrassed me after i read what i wrote, so i took the post down.

Instead i want to just put a shorter post up, and let everyone know that I am going through a difficult time right now. I know it is because I have had to cut back on a medicine I have been taking for the last fifteen years. (The only medicine i had to help in dealing with the pain of fibromyalgia)

I have gone through withdrawal before due to meds doctors had prescribed to me and then suddenly taken me off of that med. I got through those times of bad withdrawals, and I will do so again.

My mood is very up and down at the moment, probably because of chemical changes in my body. So if i do not post in the next few weeks, or my posts are short, it is because I am dealing with withdrawals once again.

Blessings

2008-10-17T13:24:00.002-04:00

This is today s work on my Winter fox painting. It is the third sitting in working on this painting. I took a close up of the fox so you all can see him better. I am so excited with how this painting is turning up. Today i detailed the fox more, as well as added a few holly trees, and I also added depth to the scene with a darker blue color in the background. I also added more snow. :)

I hope you all enjoy watching this painting's progress. It is not done yet, it feels not done, so i am going to just stand back and look at it, and i am sure something else will come to mind.

Blessings.

2008-10-16T16:17:00.002-04:00

This is the second part of a painting I showed you a few posts back. I am not sure what I will name it, i think that when it is fully done the name will come to me. I still need to add some Holly berry bushes, as well as some greenery. I will be finishing it off with it snowing. In stage 2 of the painting I have added more details to the trees as well as adding a fox.

The fox took a lot of time to complete. I probably will still paint some minor details to him. In the end though I feel he is coming out pretty well. I have never painted an animal using acrylics, and found it very different then using soft pastels. You have to be much more exact, and if you make a mistake it shows!

I am going to continue to work on this painting tonight and tomorrow. I will show you all as the stages progress.

I hope you all are having a blessed day!

2008-10-15T17:51:00.006-04:00

Painting by: Tracy Jo
"Shades of my spirit and soul"

I normally do not paint in an abstract fashion. Most of the time I have a hard time painting abstract because it pushes my creativity in ways that are very uncomfortable for me. However I was compelled to do so today.

A person wrote me saying that they would like to see me paint my past. They wanted me to paint the feelings i had felt, because they felt these paintings might be some of my best work.

My past has a lot of pain in it. Lots of anger, times of danger, feelings of sorrow, and feelings of a deep pain that is very hard to explain to others.

I would say my past is very colorful.

I have been afraid to paint my past because I do not want to be pulled back into a depression that was so dark, so full of turmoil and deep felt pain. It has taken me years to heal, and I was afraid that if I allowed myself to paint that time of my life that I would be pulled back into that place of darkness.

This morning while in prayer I felt God talking with me, telling me that yes i have felt lots of pain, but through all that pain God had been keeping his eye on me. He has sat with me, wrapped his arms around me, and kept me from being pulled down roads that only evil prevailed. Evil did try, but God brought me through that time of deep felt pain and anger. He showed me the light that surrounded the darkness. He also showed me lots of color.... Colors of not only my soul, but of my spirit. He showed me a picture in my mind of such beauty, that not putting it on canvas was truly not an option. So picking up my brush, I started painting the colors and shades of my soul. Colors of not only my past, but of the here and now.

Those colors from my soul combined with my spirit, has become who I am as a person today. I stood back and was in true awe, I saw not only my soul, but the entire me!

As I looked at this painting of color I saw two women, one young and one older right there in the colors. I decided to slightly outline them. There is a woman in the color green, a young girl almost. She is praying if you look closely.

The one on the right hand side was more obvious and was in the red, a woman who actually looks calm and at peace while in that color. Red is a color that represents anger, deep hurt, and pain. It is a danger color. Yet the woman looks very calm. I almost thought i should change her. I could not though because I believe she is calm and peaceful because God was shinning light down into my soul while I was in that awful time in my life.

I sat mesmerized because i was looking at my soul.

I hope you enjoy seeing it also. I am trying to decide if it is done before I sign the painting....

Please feel free to comment. I love to hear what others see and feel while looking at my work. The input is very helpful.

Blessings

2008-10-15T08:16:00.000-04:00

I have five paintings in my mind. I need to lock myself away for a few days in my studio to get these creations out of my soul. If they are any good I will share! Wanted everyone to know that I am still around and doing ok.

Hugs, and blessings.

Will blog more when I am able.

2008-10-10T08:07:00.001-04:00

This is what I see outside my bedroom window when we wake up in the morning! I have one of the best views in the area i think!

If you haven't checked out my painting site lately, please do. I have added a guest book where people can now comment on my works. I also added my latest painting Luminous Night.

Spiritual Brush Strokes Paintings by: Tracy Jo

I hope you all have a blessed weekend.

2008-10-06T07:07:00.003-04:00

I have been pretty bad at posting anything personal of late here on my blog. This is mainly because i was detoxing lead out of my system once again, and this time around it had made me pretty sick. I felt i had nothing positive to share, and all i really wanted to do was disappear and not talk about how bad i was feeling.

I am finally done with the major detoxing part of the program! yayyyyy. So now i will be doing a very light detox program in order to try and keep toxins from rebuilding in my body.

The moment i stopped the major detox i have gotten busy painting. I am working on a series of three painting's this time around. I want to paint a continued woodland snow scene as a practice run for the huge woodland scene i am planning for my great room.

I am having so much fun painting this series. I am so excited about them. So far i love how they are turning out. The picture i posted is just the start of my work on these paintings. I still have so much to add on it. It will have some greenery, and in the background i will add some bushes, as well as near the trees I plan on painting a fox sitting or playing among the trees. I will then move on to the second painting and third where i will continue on with the same kind of trees, and theme, and hopefully add a deer, and a owl. The last step will be making the paintings appear as if it is actually snowing.

I could not take a good picture of the painting because once again i took it with my phone cam, so it does not show how soft or how real the trees look. (Maybe i need to ask for a camera for Christmas? laughs)

When looking at the painting in person one actually gets a sense of not only peace, but happiness. I believe that this set of three paintings i am doing will be some of my best work.

Other then painting, I found out this week that my general doctor in this area went out of business with out telling me! I found this out the hard way when i reordered some medicine i have been taking for 15 years and the pharmacist denied the order! I called the doctors office and found out i now have a new doctor who does not prescribe the med i need! This new doctor also does not do something as basic as clean ears! She denied me treatment! I was in shock. All i could think of is are you a doctor????? lol I have never heard of such a thing! Sooooo now i am looking for a new doctor. I am will most likely have to look hours and hours away, because in my area there are no doctors that treat fibro, lead poisoning or specialize in my bleeding disorder. What upsets me most is i that this new doctor i just went to was more then willing to take a chance with my health and make me go cold turkey of the med i was taking for 15 years. I finally looked her straight in the eye and said to her i can understand you not wanting to prescribe this med for me, but....... are you willing to let me go through major withdrawals??? Are you willing to have me call you while i am going through these major withdrawals????? What do you recommend me doing to deal with the withdrawals? She finally gave in and said fine I will prescribe you one month of the med. So I have one month to find a doctor! In the mean time i am cutting back slowly on my medicine just in case i can not get in to see a doctor in time.

The one good thing that came out of this visit to the doctors office is that i saw a huge sign advertising a new YMCA in my area! They are going to start water aerobics class three days a week, starting next Monday! I have decided to join the class. This is the one form of exercise that has been recommended for me to do since being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. This is the first time i have seen a class offered in my area! My area is very rural. I need to lose weight so badly, and i am hoping this class will help get rid of the pounds, or at least help my health problems some! I am very determined to lose this weight. In fact i am so determined that on the top right side of my blog i put a widget that shares how i am doing with losing the amount i need to lose to be considered healthy! It was a huge step for me because i do not like others seeing just how much i need to lose! I am hoping that talking about my weight here on my blog, I will get some encouragement from you my blogger friends. The class will be on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays. I am pretty excited about the class.

A little about why i have gained so much weight. My doctors have told me it is not because I eat the wrong foods, or eat to much. My eating habits are not the reason for my weight gain. I have gained weight because of the lead in my body has messed up my thyroid and metabolism! My thyroid is way out of wack, and i do not absorb the natural chemicals my body makes in order for my metabolism to work right.

The goal for my doctors have not been about my weight, but getting the lead out of my body so my body will work normal again.

However..... I am totally frustrated at how much i now weigh! I feel so fat! I feel unattractive, and it depresses me when i look at myself in the mirror. I am hoping that by adding this exercise class, it will at least give me peace of mind that i am doing all i can to be healthy. I am hoping that it will help give me peace of mind that this weight gain is not my fault! Even though the doctors keep telling me it is not my fault, and not to worry about it so much, seeing the pounds keep adding on is frustrating me!

So i am eating right, I am following the doctors regarding my detox program and now i will be exercising consistently. I am hoping I will know deep in my heart that I am doing all the right things........Even if i do not lose.... I will know that I am doing all the right things.

That is about it that has been happening in my little world. Haha ok it is a lot!

I am now off to paint!

I hope every one has a blessed week!

2008-10-03T08:17:00.004-04:00

I've been tagged by Awake in Rochester to do the 31 Things Meme...

Sorry it took me so long!

The Rules:Answer the questions using only one word.

Then tag four others.

1. Where is your cell phone? here
2. Your significant other? hubby
3. Your hair? Red
4. Your mother? Missed
5. Your father? California
6. Your favorite thing? Painting
7. Your dream last night? Chaos
8. Your favorite drink? Coffee
9. Your dream/goal? Happiness
10. The room you’re in? Favorite
11. Your hobby? Painting
12. Your fear? Secret
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Safe
14. What you’re not? Arrogant
15. Muffins? Yum
16. One of your wish list items? Done
17. Where you grew up? California
18. The last thing you did? Eat
19. What are you wearing? Clothes
20. Favorite gadget? Computer
21. Your pets? Lily
22. Your computer? Laptop
23. Your mood? Good
24. Missing someone? yes
25. Your car? Old
26. Something you’re not wearing? Jewelry
27. Favorite store? Michael's
28. Like someone? Lots
29. Your favorite color? Blue
30. When is the last time you laughed? Haha
31. Last time you cried? Guess

Who do i tag? Tart , Stacy, and you if you are reading this! Please let me know if you did this, would be fun to read your answers.

2008-09-28T07:44:00.003-04:00

One in a million shot A smile from God !

I WILL NOT SAY I FAILED
1000 TIMES, I WILL SAY
I DISCOVERED THERE ARE
1000 WAYS THAT CAN CAUSE
FAILURE---
Quote By: Thomas Edison

2008-09-24T11:49:00.002-04:00

Luminous Night Painting

I know all of you did not want me to change up this painting at all.

However the picture i posted last was not the full true image. Half the painting was dark and not showing right due to my bad picture taking! It is hard to show the correct painting via my phone cam. LOL I am so sorry, but i did know that the painting did not look finished.

The top half of the painting was perfect! However because of the amount of darkness on the lower half of my painting, it did look incomplete when viewing it in person. I have tried to keep the integrity of simplicity in this piece. I tried to not add to much so as not to take the impact of the original sky away. As you can see i did add a few more trees to add depth and interest to the painting. I also added a lake at the bottom of my painting. I kept the lake dark, with just a touch of light showing the night sky through out the lake. I think i accomplished a gorgeous painting!

This painting has a lot of meaning for me. It represents my teen years, as well as makes me long for home where my sisters and father still live. I wanted to express the feeling i had when i was only 16 and looking up at the night sky and feeling so very close with God. The moon in the painting reminds me of nights when the moon was so very huge and bright that if i reached up i could feel like i could touch it. It is a painting full of love, beauty and memory.

Thank you everyone for all your wonderful input. I value all your thoughts, ideas, and took all your advice to heart. I kept it simple! :) I hope you all enjoy and still love the painting as much as you did before.

Hugs and blessings sent your way!